


One of Those Days

by hepcatliz



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Golden Circle spoilers, M/M, Smoking, well if you haven't seen the trailer I guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-10-24 21:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10749825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hepcatliz/pseuds/hepcatliz
Summary: “If you’ve got this Morgana, I need a cigarette.”Today was one of those days. One of those “routine mission goes tits up” kind of days.  Days Merlin regretted implementing the “No Smoking” policy at all Kingsman facilities.  What he wouldn’t give to light up right here.





	1. Chapter 1

“If you’ve got this Morgana, I need a cigarette.”

Today was one of those days. One of those “routine mission goes tits up” kind of days.  Days Merlin regretted implementing the “No Smoking” policy at all Kingsman facilities.  What he wouldn’t give to light up right here.

“Take a hat or something, it’s pissing down.”

He nodded in thanks as he passed her desk, buckling his jacket.  “I’ll be an hour at most.  Stretch my legs, maybe get some fresh air while I’m out there.”

She rolled her eyes at him, murmuring a greeting to the agent on the other end of the screen.

* * *

Like most kids he grew up with, Merlin started smoking fairly early, at a pack a day (when he could get them) by the time he was fourteen.  He quit in his late teens, plans of joining the Regiments meant training.  He was running long distance by then and found the smoke aggravated his mild asthma.  He'd bum the odd one here and there over the years, but the habit never returned.

Then V-Day.  Losing Arthur, half the Table, and most of the world's leaders had him _itching_.  Thinking of Harry had him fiddling with a lighter.  He didn't miss the sideways glances from his staff when they saw it was a Kingsman grenade lighter.  

“Seriously guv, just go light up already,” Eggsy said, dropping a pack of Mayfair’s on his desk.  “Bet you haven't been away from your desk in hours, right?  Get the fuck out of here.  'S quiet, we can hold the fort long enough for a smoke break.”

Merlin tapped the lighter against the pack.  “Ten minutes,” he grumbled, “it will take me ten minutes to get up and back.  Morgana, look after him?  Don’t let him touch _anything_.”

Eggsy grinned in triumph as Merlin stood, tipping a mock salute as he made for the lift.

Merlin stepped out of the manor, pulling the lighter from his pocket. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, holding the breath as the nicotine rushed through his system.  

“ _Fuck._ ”

He exhaled slowly, feeling his shoulders loosen, and rolled his neck.  Leaning over the railing, he rested his elbows on the ledge and took another drag.  He felt the burn in his lungs, savouring the sensation.  He coughed, sudden and sharp, but took another drag as he settled again on the ledge.  Fighting his body's need to cough he exhaled slowly flicking the ash over the side.  

He stood there, leaning calmly against the railing, and finished his cigarette.  Four glorious minutes of silence, letting his mind go where it wanted, unfocused and hazy.   _Harry_.  No surprise really. When not laser focused on the remaining Knights, his mind returned to  _his_  Knight.  He smiled a little at the memory of sharing cigars over a bottle of scotch on his last birthday.  Harry brought them back from a mission to Cuba, saved for the occasion.

A quiet ping pulled him from his reverie as a message flashed on his HUD.  

_I DIDN’T TOUCH ANYTHING, SWEAR DOWN._

Merlin sighed, bending to stub the cigarette on the sole of his shoe.  He felt his chest constrict as he righted, felt his neck tighten.  He pocketed the butt and walked towards the door.  He made himself take a deep breath but knew it would do nothing.


	2. Chapter Two

In the weeks and months following V-Day Merlin stepped away from his desk more and more. In the early days it was Morgana pushing him out the door, his second in command figuring this was a winnable battle. She might not get him to sleep for more than a few hours at a time, but she  _ could _ kick him out for a quick smoke. She also didn't miss the way he returned, a small notch calmer than when he left.

The nic fits were worse than he remembered, and he still fiddled with his lighter when his hands weren't otherwise occupied. His staff gifted him a new one, anxious having an  _ actual grenade _ unsecured in their workspace. It was a simple zippo, engraved with an 'M' on one side and a shield on the other.

Merlin was touched by the gift. It reminded him of Harry, but so many things reminded him of Harry. It was not uncommon for his Knight to return with a small token, something that had Harry thinking of home while away. Merlin knew his reputation, had in fact cultivated it to keep people at arm's length. He wondered if his grief had been that obvious, if his formidable demeanor was starting to show cracks.

It had been hard without Harry, piecing the world back together alone. But with this small gift, he realized he  _ wasn't _ alone. There were people in his life that cared for him, that he cared for in return. He dug in his pocket for the Kingsman issued lighter, aware of the eyes watching him he placed it carefully on his desk. He pulled the gift from its packaging and stood, reaching in his desk for his cigarettes.

"Thank you, everyone," he said earnestly, to the staff gathered around the desk. "I know it will be put to good use. In fact, Morgana? If you've got this, I'll be back in ten."

Standing in the lift he held the lighter, tracing the engraved shield with his thumb. He could almost hear Harry, exasperated at his ignorance.  _ Daft old fool, of  _ course _ you have people who care about you. _ He smiled at that thought and exited the lift feeling better than he had in a long while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really sure where this is going, I suppose that’s a hazard of not planning things before you get started. I also realize this easily could have been just one long fic, but again, thats what happens when you don’t plan. We'll see where this ends up.


	3. Chapter Three

Morgana was mostly right, though the rain let up during his stroll down the manor’s drive.  It was little more than a drizzle as Merlin made it to the main road.  Taking shelter under a tree, he lit a second smoke from the first and pocketed the butt.  He sighed, exhaling slowly as the tension in his chest and shoulders eased.  He stood under the tree, listened to the rain and the wind blow through the leaves, relaxing more with each drag.

He pulled his lighter from his pocket and lit a third cigarette.  He rubbed absently at the shield as his mind wandered. _Eggsy. Roxy. An eject button, really?  Home.  Morgana. Harry._ Always Harry.  Merlin checked his watch and stepped out from the shelter of the tree.  Pocketing the lighter he started back the way he came.

He was partway up the manor’s drive when he heard it, the sound of incoming ordnance. He stopped short, his mind struggling to catch up to his screaming senses when it hit.

He stumbled, forced back by the shock wave.  His ears rang and red lights flashed on his HUD.  He dropped the cigarette and grabbed for his phone, running towards the source of the blast.

"Morgana, report.  There’s been some sort of explosion.  I’m en-route, ETA three minutes.  Morgana!  MORGANA, REPORT!"

His pace quickened as he blinked commands and silenced the alarms on his HUD.

"Arthur, report!  There’s been an explosion at HQ!  ARTHUR!  REPORT!"

Merlin was at a dead sprint when he finally saw it.  The gaping crater where the manor once sat. Their majestic, stately manor, reduced to nothing but a smoking pit.  He could feel panic rising, an acrid taste in his mouth, but tamped it down.

"Fuck me," he whispered, in awe at the sight before him.

Approaching the crater, he continued his frantic calls, feeling the panic rise again as agent after agent failed to respond.

"ARTHUR!  Arthur are you there? _WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"_

Frantically he jabbed at his phone, the cameras at the Shop showing nothing but static.  He tapped in disbelief as he pulled feeds from Berlin, finding them dark.

"… the fuck?"

He pulled up Mumbai and nothing.  A creeping dread started to form in the pit of his stomach as he pulled up Ottawa, Pretoria, Adelaide.  Nothing.

"Mordred.  Mordred, report! _Eggsy!_ Eggsy, report! _EGGSY, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"_

The dread grew and moved to his throat as he pulled up the feed from the Mews.

"No."

His mouth went dry as he saw the smoking ruin of his home.  Harry’s home, _their_ home.

" **NO!** "

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know it takes the average person 6-7 minutes to smoke a cigarette? It's true, or so the internet tells me. 
> 
> I think there's more to this. No, I know there's more to this, I'm just not sure how to get it connected. I'm happy with what I've got so far, but we'll see how the rest pans out.


End file.
